Most lists go to 10. These go to 11.
11. If you own a rifle, it also gets a vote.
10. Every 100th Conservative voter will be entered into a draw for the chance to win an all-expenses-paid fishing vacation in PEI with beloved Canadian Mike Duffy a mug.
9. The minimum age for voter eligibility is raised from 18 to 67.
8. To register, eligible urban voters must present a valid urine sample as well as four (4) pieces of photo identification, bundled in ascending order of card width, in a 4.3 x 6.9-inch papyrus envelope sealed with the blood of a pope.
7. Suburban and rural voters must present one (1) piece of photo ID, or their Costco card.
6. Eligible non-human voters (rifles) need not be registered.
5. A campaign spending limit of $25M will be strictly enforced. (Note: Parties are permitted to spend an additional $2M on any day ending in ‘y’.)
4. Women-folk will no longer be permitted to cancel out their husband’s vote with their own.
3. Any Canadian found living abroad will be: (a) denied eligibility to vote, and (b) deemed guilty of high treason.
2. You don’t have to vote for the party that just sent you a wad of cash in the mail, but really it’s the least you could do.
1. Any violation of this Act will result in the immediate prosecution of Michael Sona.