Most lists go to 10. These go to 11.
11. If you own a rifle, it also gets a vote.
10. Every 100th Conservative voter will be entered into a draw for the chance to win an all-expenses-paid fishing vacation in PEI with beloved Canadian Mike Duffy a mug.
9. The minimum age for voter eligibility is raised from 18 to 67.
8. To register, eligible urban voters must present a valid urine sample as well as four (4) pieces of photo identification, bundled in ascending order of card width, in a 4.3 x 6.9-inch papyrus envelope sealed with the blood of a pope.
7. Suburban and rural voters must present one (1) piece of photo ID, or their Costco card.
6. Eligible non-human voters (rifles) need not be registered.
5. A campaign spending limit of $25M will be strictly enforced. (Note: Parties are permitted to spend an additional $2M on any day ending in ‘y’.)
4. Women-folk will no longer be permitted to cancel out their husband’s vote with their own.
3. Any Canadian found living abroad will be: (a) denied eligibility to vote, and (b) deemed guilty of high treason.
2. You don’t have to vote for the party that just sent you a wad of cash in the mail, but really it’s the least you could do.
1. Any violation of this Act will result in the immediate prosecution of Michael Sona.
At great peril, zlog has obtained a secret copy of a preemptive Conservative attack ad against Liberal leadership candidate Marc Garneau: